Good for something

It never ceases to amaze me how faithful God is to me.
I don't really have any reason to say such a thing right now. I just wanted to express how much I really do love my God.
I wish that I could understand what He sees in me. He continues to give me many ideas.. and somehow He continues to strengthen me and empower me in ways I can't really explain. Especially because there are times, (like right now, for instance,) that I am so tired I just want to sleep.
Yet there is so much work to do.. so many prayers to pray. So many people to love.
I just screw it up so much.
I am so harsh, so unloving. I hate, I hurt, I get so angry. I wish there was a way to change myself... but I know so well that the only one who can ever really change me is my Jesus... I guess there are just some times I wish I could help him out, maybe because I feel like there is so much work to be done in me.
Philippians 1:6 says For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.
I wonder sometimes.. what is that work? He has given me so many dreams, so many ideas.. which one is a good work, and which one is of myself?
Or, possibly, could it be both?
Anna once asked me, "What are you afraid of Kirsten?" (we were having a conversation about a '
story I've been writing for 20 years).
I confessed that I'm a little afraid that I might actually be successful.
She asked me why, and when I had no response, she said, "Are you afraid that God might allow you to be good at something? That it's okay for you to be successful?"
I feel like I've always failed at everything. Is it possible, that Anna is right? That God might actually allow me to be good at something? And is it possible, that the dreams I have, may be that good work after all?
Why is it so hard to hope that what I want to do, may be what God wants me to do? Is it possible that I am good for something?
Is it possible to love someone so much?