You're a curse!

Can I just say that I absolutely LOVE how many plane crashes always seem to happen RIGHT BEFORE I get on a plane to leave the country? Seriously, I've heard about at least two tonight alone.

But that's not the point of this blog, so let me get back to my thoughts.

I worked an evening program tonight, with around 15 kids ranging from 3-12 years of age.
My nametag says "Captain K", and as I was getting to know the kids, I attempted to make it fun as I had them try to guess what the K stood for.
As my name is pretty rare, of course they couldn't, so I told them. "My name is Kirsten." (Pronounced curse-ten).

Immediately, like, five of the kids tell me, "Oh, your name is Kirsten? You're a CURSE."

To which I responded, "Oh I feel like I'm in second grade again."

Which was true.
When I was younger, kids used to tease me all the time about my name, saying the very same thing.
Kids are so mean. I was so mean. When kids used to tell me I was a curse, I promptly used my superior height and strength to promptly pound them into the dirt. Yes, I was a bully. I lacked the quick wit of the "intelligent" kids, and so I retaliated the only way I knew how. I can tell you that most bullies are insecure. I certainly was. And it didn't help any that those insecurities were reinforced by kids calling me a curse. This continued all the way into my middle school years, every time I met new kids, almost immediately there would be some joke about how "I'm a curse cause my name is Kirsten." The teasing tapered off around ninth grade, in high school, because somehow, we all had grown up enough to realize that kind of teasing was beneath us.

Of course, I've said some pretty stupid things in my life, but I always wondered if kids REALLY understood what they were saying to me. Do they really grasp what it means to be called a curse? Did they understand the prophecies they were speaking into my life? Once something like that is put into your head, you don't forget it. Especially when people say your name. Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you think, "Oh, my name is Kirsten. I'm a curse."

Of course, I'm not expecting seven to ten year olds to truly be able to evaluate the weight of their words. It is just interesting to me how we all claim to be "good natured" but, we never had anyone "teach" us to be mean. It just comes so naturally.

Anyway, it is really amazing how deep emotional scars run. Over the years, I've attempted to get past those biting words by ignoring them, or even embracing them. I've found myself introducing my name to people by telling them, "Yes, my name is pronounced Kirsten, not Kristen. Just think of a curse ten times."

Yet, tonight, when those kids called me a "Curse" again, all those feelings came back. The feeling of wanting to hit someone for calling me a curse. The feeling of "how can they say that to me when they don't even know me?" The feeling of wanting to just run away. The feeling of tightness in my chest because I couldn't stop them from saying it over and over again, as they laughed about it.
I thought, for sure, that at age 30 I would have been over that by now. But no. It still hurts.
Every time.

In my house, I have a picture frame that one of my amazing roommates made that has pictures of us and our names with meanings. Kirsten Lynn apparently means, "Beautiful Anointed Christ-Bearer."

What?

When I first saw that, I was overwhelmed. All these years, people had called me a curse, but this is what my name really means? Pretty cool.

Have you ever given thought to the significance of names? We are named by our parents. When I was born, my father picked my name because he had heard it on TV. It was the name of some newscaster, or something like that.
Do you think he put any thought into what my name actually meant? No. He thought it sounded pretty, and so he named me Kirsten.
Yet, I look at my life, and what I'm doing now, with traveling all over the world, spreading the gospel. It absolutely fits.
My dad may not of known what my name meant, but God knew. The irony, however much it may seem like coincidence, is not lost on me.

Names are so important. Look at the bible. Two times (that I know of,) God changed the name of Bible characters, right after they had gone through something important. Jacob (which means deceiver) had his name changed to Israel (which means prince) after he wrestled with God all night. Jesus changed Simon's name to Peter, (which means rock, which, consequently, is my father's name) after Jesus met him.
We are also told, that there is no other name above the name of Jesus, Or Yeshua.(In Hebrew Yeshua means both "Salvation," and the concatenated form of Yahoshua, is "Lord who is Salvation.") We are told there is power in his name. There are also numerous occasions where God told people to name their children VERY specific things. (like John the baptist. Zechariah was John's father, and God told him to name him John. When it came time to name the baby, since Zechariah couldn't talk, the family was going to name the baby after the father, but the baby's mother protested and said, "No! His name is to be John" The family had an argument about naming the baby John, saying, "there is no one in the family by that name." You can read about it in the book of Luke, Chapter 1, starting at verse 5. Click Here
The fact that God (and later Jesus) would change the names of two very pivotal people in the Bible story is significant in itself. They prove, that God, has the power to change names. Think about Jacob, the deceiver. He lived up to his namesake. When God changed his name to Israel, a prince, he became a prince of a nation.

So, I guess, that is my revelation for tonight. It may seem silly to you, but I think it is a big thing. Find out what your name means. And don't make fun of others who's names may seem a little dumber than yours.
And please.. never call anyone a curse. Words are powerful too.. just maybe not as powerful as names.