Art is not a crime.

But repressing it very well may be.

Someone told me recently I should write more because they love reading my blogs. I didn't realize I was being followed. But anyway.

So I recently had someone ask me to do a painting. Not too unusual, at least lately. I have people who want me to do art for them all the time. Shortly after someone discovers my hidden talent, they immediately push me to "un-hide" it by asking me to draw or paint them something. I usually have a hard time saying no, and I've recently discovered (consequently, by the person who also told me they love my writings,) that I, and I quote, "I am valuable."

As I sit and ponder that, almost as if to re-assure this point in my brain, someone calls me and asks me if I'd be able to do a speed painting. Wishing I could charge an amount equal to the value I feel, I probably won't, simply because I hate asking for money.

I'm slowly getting to the point, so please hang in there. Streams of thoughts happen so much faster when they're being thought, you know?

Anyway, so I'm considering what I should paint for this event, and I wonder, what is it that makes my art valuable? Or anyone's art, for that matter? Some people would argue that it is the demand of that artwork. Picasso's paintings were worth OH SO MUCH more after he died.
However comforting that may be to artists out there, knowing their art will be more appreciated after they're gone, I'd argue that the value of the art is directionally proportionate to the story behind it.

Take this painting: "Fighting the Tide"
To those people who don't know the story behind it, it kinda just looks like a guy standing over a girl with waves splashing all around him. But to me, the artist, it represents so much more. It tells a story, about how the guy is Jesus, and the girl is me, and it is apparent that Jesus is standing over me, protecting me from the rushing water that was meant to crush me.

For people who have experienced a feeling like this in their lives, I would say that this painting might be more valuable to them then someone who has never had this experience.

So along those lines, I was wondering, how many stories are out there? How many artists are repressing their feelings because they are afraid that they aren't good enough to express their experiences in art?

Art is deep rooted in passion and experience, after all. When I paint, I literally pour myself out onto the canvas, which is why an art critique can NEVER tell me what that painting is worth, because he will NEVER know.

I remember many paintings that have stemmed from anger rage and pain. I know how many times I've painted rather than hurt myself. If I had chosen not to paint, to express my feelings, could something worse have happened? What if I had bottled all that rage and pain inside rather than reveal it to the world? I suspect that it possibly could have bubbled over into something more foul. I've had people tell me that my artwork is dark. I admit, yes. Some of my art is scary. Even for me. And some of my art is bloody. How much darker a person would I be if I had chosen not to paint those paintings?

And so here is my point. Art is not a crime. But if I were to have repressed those passions, would I have committed a crime? Maybe not something illegal per se, but a crime against God? A Sin against myself or another human?
I can tell you honestly, that I most certainly know the answer to that. Because the answer is yes. The times I have repressed my feelings and my urge to paint therein, I have committed a sin, whether it was against myself or someone else.

So, I guess, when I'm asked at the event that I'll be speed painting at what inspires me, I'll have to tell them the truth. The truth is that art is inside each of us, regardless of what form it takes. Some of us can look at the world and see how beautiful it is, and capture that with a photograph. Some of us make up lyrics in our heads that make us feel better, and turn it into a song. Some of us can feel the rhythm of the world at large and turn it into music. And some of us can put our feelings into color and produce a painting.

Whatever the art is, feel it. Express it. Because not doing so may be a crime.