"I might have to ask you to leave"

Which, of course, is perfectly legit. I was causing a commotion, and my youth pastor (who I work with) was already having a poor night. I could tell by the way he ripped one of the kid's heads off (figuratively) when the kid did something foolish.

I traded this in for $90. I could have gone to a "political group discussion" and made $90 cash. (Which, by the way, my account will be overdrawn without.)

Regardless.. as we pondered over 2 Timothy 1 & 2, and we talked about Leadership being a thankless job, (duh)... I found myself thinking, once again, that I can't.

I keep telling God I can't do all of this. He keeps telling me that I can do all things through Him.
I wonder if it's hormones, finding myself crying and blithering like a baby who hasn't had their diaper changed within five minutes of wetting myself.

I just had a long, deep conversation with someone about depression, and strangely enough, I find that I feel depressed.
Is that a coincidence? Or am I simply giving Satan a foothold by telling God "I can't."
There is a bunch of things I can't do right now.
1. I can't pay my bills.
2. I can't encourage my friends without being sarcastic.
3. I can't talk to God without crying.
4. I can't go to Rita's (They close at 9:00pm, and I arrived at 8:58pm... and I can't do that to them.)
5. I can't think of a fifth thing.

Yet He tells me I can. I can I can I can do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens me.
How does He strengthen me? I have yet to understand that. Where am I weak? I'd be inclined to say EVERYWHERE.
I'm so tired of it.. I don't know how to not be tired. I ask for strength, and I expect some supernatural Hulk Moment, where I suddenly feel strong enough to take on the world.. but that never really seems to happen.
So I'll just sit here and cry and blather some more. Maybe if God sees fit to pick me up and wash me and change me... I'll feel better.
Not that it's important to FEEL anything. I just wish my emotions were easier to ignore.