The problem

I've identified it.
After years of heartache, I think I've come pretty close to understanding why I fail at so many relationships.
I may have discovered why I feel so attracted to people that do nothing but hurt me, regardless of whether or not they do so purposely.
Now, the question stands.. what am I supposed to do?
How am I supposed to heal when I subconsciously keep falling into the same type of abusive relationships?
How do I avoid situations that only hurt me and make me feel lonely, abandoned, and jealous?
I'm so on the verge.. of just throwing it all in. I don't want to hurt anymore. I'm so tired of loving and hating the same people, over and over again.
I don't know what to do. I have no one who can fix this for me, because it's a problem that no one can fix, really. I'm doomed to repeat history over and over again until somehow I've rediscovered my discarded self.
I don't know how to do that.
All I know, is that I need to set boundaries.. because these people keep hurting me, and I keep letting them. Nothing I do is right, Nothing I say is right.. and that's part of the problem.
Nothing ever was. I was never worth fighting for in the first place. Nothing I ever did was right. It was always more important to have deadened brain cells then to listen to me. It was more important to have what you wanted rather than what I needed. I never grew up because you never grew up. It was so much easier to run away then to deal.
I hate you. I hate you. I hate what you've done to me. You hurt me. I don't care if you were hurt, because you never cared that I was.
So now you have to deal with it yourself. Because you lost me. And you'll never get me back. You can't have me anymore. You can't hurt me anymore. I won't let you. Just keep running away. Run away until you die.
Then you'll see that I was right.
And now, it's still the same. It's all the same. Maybe one day I'll be able to love you again.
But not right now.